natalie kucken

diary 17 (november 13)

I had three shoots that had to do with music, I’m not sure about that or how it happened and I’m not sure if it’s where I want to go with my work but it’s what I’m working on. When I woke up early in the morning on the 12th it was snowing, the colors of the graffiti in my neighborhood look nice and bright against snow. I’ve never been conscious of being cut out of a life but I finally know it, it feels like a square and there’s a neat dashed line running from the top right to the bottom left corner of it. The cold seeped into the subway stations for a few days, but then left again and was replaced by little puddles in the yellow lines. Hope the cold makes it to my bed soon so that I feel less comfortable in doing nothing at all. I heard someone say “your mood ring is broken” to someone else, there are four staircases in my apartment. Spent  every free day I had in a cafe that has a nice empty courtyard and a long entrance. One morning with very grey light I was walking and listened to a line of lyrics and everything was very clear like the grey light all of a sudden “god makes problems just to see what you can stand before you do as the devil pleases: give up the thing you love”

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